Yes, i'm still alive. I've been in chicago for the last week with no internet access. Most people, including myself, thought I would die without internet for an entire week. They are right, i did die. If not for that team of 7 highly trained orangutangs i might not be here today. Here's a quick run down of chicago events.

Day One: I got there. went and saw charlie's angels II (it was either that or rugrats, the rest were sold out). TERRIBLE MOVIE.
Day Two: I drove around in the ghetto for 4 straight hours. There was a span of 18 miles down the ghettoest ghetto that ever ghettoed in which i did not see a single caucasion. Went to improv olympics that night. Best improv comedian in the world: James Fox my brother's roomate. screw you wayne brady (although WB is the awesome).
Day Three: Got so bored i figured out spongebob squarepants theme song on guitar. Went and ate pizza with Barret Kennedy and company. Saw 30 giant fish fighting for a bagel.
Day Four: Played XBOX for 4 straight hours. return to castle wolfenstein = quality game. First time i'd played video games in over a year. Saw 28 days later that night. Thought it was a quality flick.
Day Five: Went to the taste of chicago. So many hot girls i couldnt handle it. Had an ostrich burger and it was tasty. Then went to White Sox vs Twins game with bro and heckled Sox fans. When twins began to lose badly turned heckling into cries of "cubs are better than the sox". Made many enemies.
Day Six: Played 4 more hours of return to castle wolfenstein before i left for the El. Forgot my transit card and money and had to walk all the way back to apartment. Read a book on the train when i wasnt constantly asking black guy next to me to turn his damn music down. Finally arrived home to crispy cream donuts.

Classic Chicago quote by me: "what are all these negroes doing in chicago?"
Moral of the story is: "Chicago is da coolest"